My parents had their 50th anniversary this year, and during their party, I pulled them aside to ask them a series of questions about their relationship. My six -year-old son and eight-year-old daughter came up with the initial questions, but since those were all pretty stupid, we asked AI to write the rest of the interview for us.
This is that interview.
CHRIS:
All right. You remember the newlywed game?
MOM:
Yes, I do.
CHRIS:
This is the 50th anniversary game.
MOM:
Oh, my goodness.
CHRIS:
The questions were made by your family members and ChatGPT. So you're going to do it and then we're going to make dad do it.
MOM:
Oh my.
CHRIS:
See if the answers line up later. First question. Do you think kissing is lovely?
MOM:
In the early days?
DAD:
Yes.
CHRIS:
Do you think hugging is lovely?
DAD:
Yes.
MOM:
I don't think anything is lovely. Yeah, I like hugging.
CHRIS:
Would you rather kiss or hug?
MOM:
Hug.
DAD:
Hug, I guess.
CHRIS:
Did you guys like each other when you kissed?
DAD:
Yes.
MOM:
Did the kids make up these questions?
CHRIS:
These are the kids ones. This is the last kid one.
MOM:
Okay. Well, yes.
CHRIS:
Okay. What is one thing your spouse still does after 50 years you still secretly find adorable or mildly annoying?
MOM:
Mildly annoying. I find it annoying when he likes to help me cook.
DAD:
Jeez, I don't know. I'm playing two questions at the same time here. The annoying part, I've kind of blown all that off. I don't know if any of it annoys me anymore. Anything that did annoy her. So then if we don't go there, we got to go the other way. The way she takes care of children.
CHRIS:
That's annoying?
DAD:
No, that's...
CHRIS:
That's adorable?
DAD:
Yeah.
CHRIS:
What car did your wife have when you first met?
DAD:
What what?
CHRIS:
What kind of car did she have when you first met?
DAD:
She didn't have one.
CHRIS:
No? How'd she get around?
DAD:
She was either with her friends or I think she might have borrowed the family car. Or when we first met, it was mostly me getting her around.
CHRIS:
What kind of car did you have?
DAD:
I want to say that was either a Ford or the Rambler. I don't know if I still had the Ford. I think I had the Ford. We spent more time on my brother's Cutlass, though, after I come back from the Army, so I think the Ford. I'm going with the Ford.
MOM:
He borrowed his brother's car, I think. And then his first car was a Nova, I think. No, it was a Rambler. Never mind, it was a Rambler.
CHRIS:
What color was it?
MOM:
Bluish.
CHRIS:
Okay. Who said, I love you first, and how long did it take?
MOM:
I don't remember. But, you know, he went to the service right away, and then we kind of reconnected. So, from the first I met him, probably, I don't know, two years?
DAD:
Probably me.
CHRIS:
How long did it take?
DAD:
I don't know. Months.
CHRIS:
What was your spouse wearing on your first date?
DAD:
I have no clue.
CHRIS:
What were you wearing?
DAD:
No clue. I suppose jeans.
CHRIS:
Were they clean?
DAD:
Yes, I'm sure they were.
MOM:
No clue.
CHRIS:
What was your first date?
MOM:
We double dated with our friend and went to the drive-in theater.
CHRIS:
What movie was playing?
MOM:
Don't know.
CHRIS:
Did it go well?
MOM:
Well, I met up with them again.
DAD:
The first one I remember was going to Taco John's, and she didn't know what she wanted, whether hot. I just got her soft shells with hot sauce, the hottest of head. She didn't say anything about the second or third bite.
I ate seven of them.
CHRIS:
Sounds romantic. If your spouse could relive one vacation you took together, which would he pick?
MOM:
Which would he pick? I think he liked the trip we took when I had a conference in Vegas and we went didn't have any destinations, but we drove to Scott's Bluff and down through Utah and then over to Nevada and South Bryce Canyon along the way.
DAD:
She was kind of sick on her honeymoon. That probably wouldn't be it. I'm going to go with first trip to Vegas.
CHRIS:
What is your wife's go-to comfort food or favorite snack?
DAD:
I'm not aware she has one. Licorice.
MOM:
Anything.
CHRIS:
Which of you is more likely to start a small project that turns into a weekend-long adventure?
MOM:
Me.
DAD:
Not me.
CHRIS:
What song would your wife say is your song, like your couple's song?
DAD:
Don't know. She's always reminding me. I didn’t see that big microphone there?
CHRIS:
What did you say it was your song?
DAD:
As a couple?
CHRIS:
Yeah.
DAD:
Don't have a clue. She would remind me, probably.
MOM:
My song?
CHRIS:
Like your couple song.
MOM:
It was called The Wedding Song back in the 70s. It really was. It was called The Wedding Song.
CHRIS:
Your song was called The Wedding Song?
MOM:
Uh-huh.
CHRIS:
Who sang it?
MOM:
I don't know.
CHRIS:
What's the most unusual gift your spouse has ever given you?
MOM:
Oh, my goodness. He gave me a stuffed cat that had stitches in his eye.
CHRIS:
Did you like it?
MOM:
It made me laugh.
CHRIS:
When was this?
MOM:
First Christmas.
DAD:
I don't know. I probably have to walk around the house to figure it out.
CHRIS:
Who's the better driver?
DAD:
She probably is.
MOM:
I'm gonna not say.
CHRIS:
What was your husband's favorite activity when you first met?
MOM:
Driving around in his car.
CHRIS:
Favorite things she liked to do when you first met?
DAD:
I suppose driving around, I guess. Seeing friends.
CHRIS:
What was your first reaction when you first met your spouse?
DAD:
I'm gonna... I'm looking for the word… Wouldn't be confused…On alert.
CHRIS:
What was your first reaction when you first met your spouse?
MOM:
Neutral.
CHRIS:
What flavor was your wedding cake?
MOM:
I think it was vanilla.
DAD:
I think it was white, I think. I'm going to go white.
CHRIS:
White?
DAD:
White.
CHRIS:
White's a flavor?
DAD:
Yeah, white's a flavor. Whatever white is, I don't know what flavor is white.
CHRIS:
Not brown.
DAD:
Yeah, it's not brown.
CHRIS:
After 50 years, what's one thing your spouse does that reminds you why you love them?
DAD:
The way she cares.
CHRIS:
After 50 years, what's one thing your husband does that reminds you why you love him?
MOM:
I don't know when he gets gentle.
CHRIS:
Okay, anything else you want to say?
MOM:
It's went by quickly.
CHRIS:
How romantic… Anything else you want to say?
DAD:
I might be in enough trouble already. I don't know.
CHRIS:
All right. Happy anniversary.
